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‘Self’-immolation |
‘self’-immolationWe do not forget joy, laughter, whimsicality, and humour - but we leave behind the sense in which death is conveniently remote. There is no artificial continuity to separate death from the passing of each moment. Vajrayana vows throw a can of gasoline into the splicing room. In terms of practice—within the tradition of Vajrayana—vows encourage the ‘movie’ of solid, permanent, separate, continuous, defined self-identity to self-immolate any sense of concretisation or reliable segue. The entire splicing room of the ‘me project’ self-immolates because it is not there. Because it is not there, the apparently sequential continuity of ever subsequent scenarios exposes itself as a gigantic hoax. It becomes almost embarrassingly plain that the hoax has hoaxed itself into not seeing itself as a hoax. The cameras are empty. The script is a jumbled concatenation of disconnected events in which the director and producer have lost interest. With the taking of the Vajrayana vows the movie makes itself without props or costumes. The clothing of samsara falls away. We realise that the bodies of which we were so ashamed are the beautiful ornaments of space. The societal conventions of samsara as to what is attractive and what is repulsive are stripped of validity and we dance nakedly as the play of continual non-referential arising and dissolving. After taking the vows, we may well begin to wrap ourselves again in the snug appearances of continuity, but a sequence of moments has been experienced in which everything is as it is. Everything becomes dharma: as it is. This does not mean that we abandon responsibility in our jobs, families and friendships – but we abandon hope of remaining as ‘part time tantrikas’. This is a fearful and fearless step to take. It is an action of great confidence and enormous panic. It is a statement of utter hope and utter futility. It is the recognition that samsara does not function, and that it never will function – no matter how deftly we may care to manipulate. It is the understanding that the lineage and the tradition offer the means for us—and for all beings—to live in the immediacy of the sparkling moment. The Vajrayana vows are an expression of fierce frivolousness which burns at the heart of the tradition. We do not forget joy, laughter, whimsicality, and humour – but we leave behind the sense in which death is conveniently remote. There is no artificial continuity to separate death from the passing of each moment. The continuity and discontinuity of our lives become the movie in which every character is the central character and in which the central character cannot be found other than within the moment. |
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