Why did I become ordained? I wanted to be challenged. I wanted to be held accountable. I wanted to try to live up to something that was hard. I wanted to be part of something that was much bigger than myself. I wanted to do the best thing I could imagine doing with my life. I wanted to specialise and excel. I wanted to narrow my focus and live within specific guidelines. I wanted to throw caution to the wind and put all my eggs in one basket. When I was first considering ordination, the thing that stood out to me was the idea that I’d have to commit myself to something I could never abandon. No escape. No divorce and then moving on to greener pastures. What an idea! What if I got sick of it? What if I found out it ‘just wasn’t for me’? What if I couldn’t live up to the vows? After a long while of mulling these things over it struck me that having a Vajra Master is a mutual commitment. Not only would I be stuck with these vows and these Lamas for the rest of my lives but they would also be stuck with me. They would never divorce, abandon, or otherwise give up on me. I found that mighty intriguing. And it caused me to be interested in trying to hold up my side of that dynamic.

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