Tralam-mé

Q Is it possible to see tralam-mé?

R Yes, in a manner of speaking – but it is more that you see the reflection of tralam-mé in terms of something indefinable yet wholesome in a person.

Q Like Charisma?

R No. Charisma is a dubious measure for anything. Sociopaths often have great charisma – and I sometimes wonder whether charisma exists outside sociopathy. I would make no final statement to that effect – but I do wonder. I have asked various psychiatrists this question and have never had a satisfactory answer – so maybe we will never know exactly. Maybe it is simply a personal experience in respect of a person.

Q What about your Tsawa’i Lamas, Rinpoche? Whenever you have spoken of them it sounded as if they had great charisma or even enlightened charisma.

R Vajra-charisma – yes certainly. The Buddhakarma of magnetisation. That was evident – but they did not exactly behave in a charismatic way. It would seem to me that they did not try. They certainly held an audience in the same way that a charismatic person holds an audience – but they never ‘took license’ or ‘took liberties’ with their audiences. If they behaved unusually or spoke unusually it never seemed to be for their own advantage.

Q Maybe ‘presence’ might be a better word?

R I think it is a better word – yes. Someone with presence can be highly subtle and could maybe go by unnoticed. Tralam-mé would be more like ‘presence’ than ‘charisma’, and there would be a sense of the person being fundamentally honourable. Tralam-mé shows through the ability to keep one’s word – and to be willing to be held accountable for one’s words. Those whose tralam-mé is eroded find it hard to keep their word – or rather, they find it increasingly convenient not to be held by their words.

Q So they lie?

R Well – maybe they do not lie viciously – but they become somehow slippery.

Q Slippery?

R Yes – the quality in which they seem able to explain everything away in terms of any volte-face they appear to have made – i.e. they make u-turns that would look grand in a police chase movie. Their memories are creative in terms of what is real and what is not real and whatever is real in the moment tends to be where their integrity lies.

Q So someone like this might say: I know I said that I believed strongly in commitment and that I expected it of you as my partner – but I have discovered that life is not quite as simple as that et cetera.

R Yes – such a person would say something just like that – and they would probably say: Those were not the exact words I used – I said ‘I believe strongly in the ideal of commitment and that I expected you as my partner to value that ideal in terms of our lives.’ Then of course the issue becomes confused and the word commitment becomes redefined in order to include what ever needs to be included.

Q That sounds sociopathic.

R Yes – I think you are right.

Q So loss of tralam-mé and sociopathy are intertwined?

R Yes and no. We are obviously dealing with examples – and examples can be misleading because they tend to be set up to show something obvious. This tends to make examples more extreme than most cases. In the worst case scenarios however—i.e. in terms of radical erosion of tralam-mé—the person would behave in a manner similar to a sociopath.

Q So eroded tralam-mé might look like selfishness?

R It could – yes, but it would not necessarily extend to all things. It would be more a case of a person’s generosity being hard to maintain. They might make promises and fail to keep them – and also be regretful that they could not keep them. Loss of tralam-mé has more to do with one’s love evaporating due to one’s partner being a human being riding normal vicissitudes. Someone without eroded tralam-mé would be able to tolerate an emotional range in respect of their partner – which included occasional obsessing irritation, and phlegmaticism.

Q Why is that Rinpoche?

R It is because tralam-mé allows you to experience the non-dual sparkling through in respect of your partner. Due to this you make allowances. Tralam-mé could be said to be the energy of tolerance. When tralam-mé begins to erode, you find yourself capable of increasingly less tolerance – whilst at the same time, expecting ample tolerance from your partner.

Q Can you refresh me as to what tralam-mé means? I have heard the meaning given before but it has a subtle quality that makes it hard to grasp – or harder than other technical terms.

R The ordinary meaning of tralam-mé pertains to ‘that which occurs in the sky’. It could be weather conditions, rain, sleet, hail, snow, wind, rainbows, the Northern Lights, meteor showers – whatever the sense fields perceive as in the sky. There is no word in English which has that meaning. Tralam-mé includes everything which occurs in the sky: clouds, stars, moon, visions et cetera. If we break the word into its components – ‘khra’ means ‘eagle’; ‘Lam’ means ‘context’ or ‘natural unfoldment’; ‘Mé’ means ‘fire’. When these syllables are combined they signify the colours and radiance of the sky. In the Khandro Pawo Nyi-da Mélong Gyüd (mKha’ ’gro dPa bo nyi zLa me long rGyud), which is a Dzogchen long-dé teaching, tralam-mé is used in the context of ‘vajra romance’ – the practice which allows the realisation of non-duality through romance. Because of this we translate tralam-mé as ‘poetic turbulence’. Poetic turbulence is the aspect of the ‘romantic energetic’ which sparks the capacity for realisation in two individuals. Poetry is not semantically linked with the word tralam-mé – but ‘poetic turbulence’ is an experiential translation. When people fall in love, they begin to rhyme – the tralam-mé of each begins to rhyme incrementally with the other.

Q And diluted tralam-mé is therefore caused by adultery?

R Yes – adultery means ‘watering down’ or ‘weakening’ – so if you engage in multiple relationships, you weaken or water down your tralam-mé. It is then increasingly difficult to rhyme – or it becomes difficult to rhyme consistently. You might rhyme for incrementally shorter periods of time – and with each failed relationship it would become more difficult.

Q Can you find out if your tralam-mé is eroded?

R Well . . . yes . . . you know your own life and what has occurred – but rather than create a sense of foreboding I would say that if you find it easy to establish friendships and if you enjoy maintaining them – then your tralam-mé is not damaged. If you do not find it difficult to fall in love – you probably have a relatively strong tralam-mé.