Look back in ang-ra

Apprentice When I look back over my life I sometimes feel overwhelmed by anger at things people have done to me or how they have treated me. It is not that I want to get my own back or anything crass like that, and it’s not as if I don’t understand that they weren’t trying to treat me badly. It’s just the sense of betrayed friendship that I find hurtful. Is there a way to approach this through practise?

Ngak’chang Rinpoche Yes, it is called the jigtèn chögyèd, the eight worldly dharmas: hope and fear; praise and blame; gain and loss; meeting and parting. If you accept the influence of these factors you cannot call yourself a practitioner. That does not mean that you cannot feel the effect, but simply that you cannot buy into them as being valid. You simply have to forget any idea that life is fair or that anyone owes anyone anything for anything—ever. When you expect nothing your expectations are never disappointed. If you have nothing to win you have nothing lose. It would be wonderful if true friends existed in everyone’s lives—as they ideally should exist, with honour and loyalty toward each other—but that is exceptionally rare. Can you honestly say that you have never betrayed anyone or talked behind anyone’s back? If so, then maybe you have a point. Otherwise it is better to forgive people for being people—and look forward in your yogic shorts rather than looking back in ang-ra.

[Ang-ra are an elaborate pair of knickers and short kilt combined, worn for practicing yogic exercises in Nyingma Anuyoga and the Annuttarayogatantra of the New Translation Schools.—Ed.]