courage

Apprentice I have often felt concerned that I seem to be a timid person who likes to live safely. When I’ve had the chance to join in with some shooting I’ve found it quite frightening and cannot honestly say I’ve enjoyed it, although I will have a go.

Ngala ’ö-Dzin I would say that it is reasonable and sensible to feel some trepidation around guns – this is an aspect of behaving in an appropriately careful manner around such dangerous objects. It is good that you ‘had a go’. With regard to living safely, everyone wishes to be comfortable and free of obvious danger – this would also seem reasonable and does not mean that you are especially timid.

Apprentice I have faced frightening times in my life and felt I rose well to the need of the moment.

Ngala Nor’dzin Being able to respond in the moment is admirable. ‘In the moment’ is actually the only place we can respond. Being able to take responsibility and act as the situation demands are heroic qualities. Concern about fear for your personal safety sounds like you are imagining such a situation – projecting an idea of what such a moment might be like, and how you might respond to it. You cannot know how you might respond and perhaps – hopefully – you will never have to deal with such a situation. The only preparation we can undertake is to practice and saturate ourselves in View so that it becomes who we are. ‘Preparation’ then transforms into just being. Then we can simply forget about worrying whether we are timid or whether we could deal with a particular situation and relax into the present moment.

Apprentice I went through a period for several weeks with horseriding where I had to force myself to face my fear every time I got on a horse’s back or even entered their stable. I felt sick a lot of the time through the fear of what I had undertaken. Was allowing myself to stare into that fear being heroic and continuing to be willing to enter the situation I feared again and again?

Ngala ’ö-Dzin Yes indeed. You could have given up, decided horseriding wasn’t for you, become a quivering wreck incapable of mounting, or escalated the situation through indulging your fear and communicating this to the horse. That fearful experience was not comfortable, but you allowed it to gradually change through simply living it as was required.

Apprentice I have never had to place myself in physical danger to help someone and wonder if I would be up to it if it was required – but is there any point in even thinking about such things? Is there the danger that through thinking about such things we convince ourselves it would be okay – or not okay – through trying to rehearse it in one’s mind? Do we have to live the confidence of potential heroic capacity through simply being practitioners – and then leave it alone?

Ngala Nor’dzin Exactly. We cannot rehearse our lives. We have to simply live each present moment as it arises with vigour and integrity. This is the heroism of the practitioner. The practitioner has no hope with regard to the next moment, no projection – and this hopelessness allows that moment to be exactly whatever it is. Placing ourselves in danger may not be the most appropriate response – running to get help might be more useful – but you can only decide how to respond in the situation in the moment that it arises. We cannot store a set of possible solutions to potential situations in our minds and expect these to be useful and available in the moment. The more we practice, the more likely we are to see the situation clearly in the moment and effect the most helpful decision and response.