you are braver than you think you are

Apprentice I would like some advice about how I deal with my emotions, and the conceptual disarray that has comes out of my relationship break-up. It was a significant relationship for me – as I had been on my own for a long time and somehow I had opened up in ways that are now difficult to close down.

Khandro Déchen Maybe closing down is not a good idea.

Apprentice I have not got round to asking questions about all that as yet – because I have not given you an account of what happened in enough detail for you to be able to answer.

Khandro Déchen This may come as a surprise – but we may not really need to know the details. You could simply write about what you feel at this moment and how it is affecting you with regard to practice and living the view.

Apprentice So can I write later when I have had time to get it all in order. It is a long story.

Khandro Déchen We think we might be able to save you some effort here. We do not really need to know about the past in order to comment on the present. No matter how much you tell us – neither of us is the person who went through the history you would wish to recount. The details therefore will be of more use to you than they would be to us. We could go through every detail with you and ask you questions about it all – but in the end you would only have what you feel in the moment – and you have that now. With what you have presented in this letter – we could advise immediately: Don’t close down. Remain open. See what happens next without ideas of self protection. You can do it. You are braver than you think you are.