double rainbow

Apprentice What I would like to say, without disclaimers, at work lately – maybe more so or less so than usual – who really knows anymore...

Lama Shardröl Sounds like a few disclaimers may have slipped in...

Apprentice The level of complaining has risen to actual bad feeling between people, with everyone complaining about bosses, co-workers, conditions, jobs, pay, general health and all sorts of discontent...

Lama Shardröl This is how we entertain ourselves while waiting to die.

Apprentice Could there be an end of topics to complain about?

Lama Shardröl No. Human imagination & ingenuity is endless. Dissatisfaction is built into the process by which we attempt to find happiness. This is what’s known as samsara & it will never work. But until people realise this, they will keep thinking that if they could only make the proper adjustments, everything would be perfect. And so the process continues.

Apprentice I just went outside and there is a double rainbow.

Lama Shardröl Great! That’s a wonderful thing to see, isn’t it? Whatever may be disturbing about our life circumstances, we do get to see double rainbows now & then.

Apprentice How does one deal with this besides complaining oneself or taking sides?

Lama Shardröl Hmmm. It depends on what you mean by ‘deal with it’. If you mean ‘fix it’, you probably cannot do that. If you mean ‘insulate yourself from it’ you probably cannot do that either. What you can do is ‘remain uninvolved’. You can allow it to occur, without feeling the need to agree or disagree, but you can refrain from giving it fuel (like, “yes, & another thing...”). Sometimes people just want to vent. This can be harmless but you don’t have to feed it by adding your energy to theirs.

Apprentice What is the proper attitude for dealing with people's complaining when one is the target?

Lama Shardröl If you are the target, you can try & be open to hearing what they have to say without being defensive or getting angry back at them. Maybe they have a point, maybe you are doing something that is annoying them like blowing bubblegum bubbles all day long &, once you know it’s annoying, you can stop. There is no real point in arguing with people or defending yourself – unless they actually have the facts wrong & then you can pleasantly point out their mistake (“Actually this isn’t bubblegum at all, it’s a particular substance I need to literally keep my head from exploding – I know it’s annoying but it’s a medical condition and I’m sorry to say there’s nothing I can do about it”).