motivation is always mixed

Apprentice Could you say something about finding a balance between perfectionism in Dharma projects on one extreme, and on the other extreme just being sloppy about it? Often I get discouraged about things, even in advance of trying, because I want to do it perfectly and know I can’t do it perfectly; or it just seems too overwhelming, so I don’t do it at all. Whereas I find that projects where I just dive in and do the best I can . . .

Khandro Déchen That sounds good. I like that.

Apprentice  . . . there’s no way it’s going to be perfect; and I have to give up the idea that it’s going to be perfect. It’s going to be impure in some way.

Khandro Déchen What is valuable here – not just in terms of something you make, but in terms of your own practice, is that there is a balance. What you hope for, in terms of your practice, what is actually possible there – and simply doing your best. It is like that with motivation: pure motivation is what one strives for – but it is only an enlightened being who has pure motivation. If one accepts that one’s motivation is always mixed, then one tries ones best – and one has an awareness of one’s entire situation. The principle is always awareness. One has to be aware of too much effort—or neurotic effort in search of some kind of perfection that is actually beyond one’s skill—on the one hand, and laziness on the other. Laziness, of course, can be built on such ideas as ‘I can’t do it, so I’m not going to try hard.’ The only way we can ever determine where we are is with awareness – and that can only arise from silent sitting. With the development of awareness, everything becomes practice – whether it is sewing, or filing, or whatever . . .