When did you last see a Lama?

When Paltrül was a young Lama, he once travelled in the company of the First Dodrüpchen and his friend Gyalwé Jig’mèd Nyu-gu. These two Lamas were amongst the principal disciples of the great Jig’mèd Lingpa, and were themselves highly respected incarnations. They had all donned the nomad-style sheepskin chubas that were the favourite costume of DoKhyentsé Yeshé Dorje Rinpoche (Paltrül’s root teacher, the rebirth of Jig’mèd Lingpa) and were striding out in the direction of Dodrüpchen gompa. After some time of walking they settled down for the evening, and lit a fire against both cold and wolves.

Whilst seated around their campfire they were accosted by some members of a relatively well-to-do family who were at their wits’ end. The family was returning from Dodrüpchen gompa in a state of high anxiety. They burst in on the three travellers and, without so much as an introduction, launched in on what was distressing them: “Old grampa is dead and we can’t find anyone anywhere who can perform the death rites for him. D’you know where there might be any kind of Lama, or some monks at least, who could come to our home and perform the rites?” Dodrüpchen asked them whether they had tried at Dodrüpchen gompa, to which they replied: “Yes, we have just come from there – but three important Lamas are expected soon for a large ceremony, and no one can be spared.” Dodrüpchen asked whether they had requested rites to be performed for them at the gompa, to which they replied: “Yes, but who knows what will happen when these important Lamas arrive – maybe our grampa will be forgotten because of this important event! Are you sure you don’t know of any Lama or monks anywhere who will come to our home?” Dodrüpchen furrowed his brow, and replied – “Well... I’m sure that these important dignitaries will not forget your old grampa... but, tell me – would the Lama need to be a monk to fit your bill?”

The relatives of the deceased were perplexed: “How else could he be a Lama if he were not a monk?” Dodrüpchen pondered the question as if it were the most baffling riddle, and finally said, “Well there’s a thing and no mistake... you have me there... that’s a question to be sure...” and then, turning to Jig’mèd Nyu-gu, he asked: “What do you think, friend?” At that point the two Lamas fell to a pantomime performance in which each kept asking the other: “Lamas?” to which the other would reply: “Lamas...” Then Jig’mèd Nyu-gu sighed in mock consternation, “Now let me think...” and Dodrüpchen sighed: “Monks... now let me consider this problem...” To which Jig’mèd Nyu-gu Dodrüpchen responded “Monks... Mmmm... where would one find monks?” Jig’mèd Nyu-gu shook his head “I really don’t know where you might find monks so far out in the sticks – but may I ask, my friend, when did you last see a Lama?” Dodrüpchen scratched his head, “You’re asking me – ‘when – did – I – last – see – a Lama’. Now that’s a question... When did you last see a Lama?” Jig’mèd Nyu-gu replied: “Well, my friend, I could ask you the same, and I think that I just did – but not to put too fine a point on it, I’d say that the question of ‘time’ doesn’t exactly come into it... does it?” To which Dodrüpchen answered: “Well said! Well said! Yah, yah, yah... I see your point... It’s a sticky question...” And this style of discussion went on for a period of time which nearly drove the relatives insane with frustration. One of them cried out: “Enough already with this ‘Lama’ business! Are you crazy? You’ve either seen Lamas or you haven’t!” At which point Jig’mèd Nyu-gu asked: “Are you sure it’s not better to leave things be? Are you sure it’s not better to rely on the monks at Dodrüpchen to perform rites for you? We’re sure your request won’t be forgotten.” But the relatives were not happy with leaving anything to chance, and sat around in a dejected manner, talking amongst themselves and wondering what to do.

As they were talking, various other stragglers from the family caught up with the main party. One of the latecomers was a young girl who noticed that there were péchas (religious texts) wrapped up in the bundles that the three yogis had placed in a sheltered spot. The wind had whipped up the side of the backpack that Paltrül was carrying, and sure enough there were péchas there. “Maybe they can help!” she called out, “They have péchas!” The eldest of the relatives looked, and sure enough the girl was right. “Can you read these péchas you carry?” The three yogis nodded. Yes – they could all read. “What pécha are these péchas that you have with you?” The three yogis told the old man that they were texts connected to Dodrüpchen gompa, in whose direction they where headed – and that amongst them, there were tödrol (“Book of the Dead”) texts. “Then although you are not monks, will you at least come and chant these texts for us? We will provide you with generous offerings! Please come! Your are our only hope!” Dodrüpchen answered, “Well yes, of course we will come, but you said that you wanted monks? If you want monks, would you be better off remaining here, in case any monks come along?” The eldest of the relatives looked vexed. “That doesn’t matter, you have the texts and that is what counts. As long as you know how to read.” Then over his shoulder he asked, with barely concealed suspicion: “You do know, how to read don’t you?” The three yogis nodded, and Dodrüpchen Rinpoche added: “We can read well enough to recite these texts for you – there is no need to worry if that is all you want from us.”

So it was that the three yogis agreed to help – but said that they could only remain for three days. They were actually on their way to Dodrüpchen gompa. They could not delay by too long because of the important ceremonies that were to take place, and the gompa awaited the arrival of the three great Lamas. They said nothing of this, however, to the party they had agreed to help – they merely said that they would like to be at Dodrüpchen gompa for the event. The relatives agreed and decided to keep quiet about a certain fact which was likely to have influenced the yogis in their decision to stay – namely, the fact that the ceremonies were due to start in two days. It was due to this that no one had been able to come from the gompa to perform rites in their home—

At this point the teller of the tale abruptly stops.

It is for you to finish . . . for now . . .